life lessons: learning a craft

It takes time (sometimes many years) to develop a vision and learn your "craft". Wherever you are, don't rush the learning process. The more time you spend developing your skills and style, the better. Be encouraged and keep learning! - Elsie Larson

My first inclination is often to become frustrated when things don't happen fast enough. I always seem to feel like I'm in an "in-between" stage...stuck between places where I want to be, never quite there. But, that's life! I want to always be learning and growing, which means that I probably won't ever really feel like I have everything figured out. And, that's ok!

Thanks for the advice, Elsie! Exactly the encouragement I needed to take that next step forward. ♥

life lessons: vulnerability

from this amazing blog

Something that I have been realizing lately is that I do have problems being vulnerable to people. Even to my closest friends and family, even to my husband! I instinctively push away, make a joke, smooth a subject over when I feel uncomfortably open to people. It's like I'm a lobster protecting my soft underbelly with a hard outer shell. Even my cats can lay there with their soft little bellies exposed! Why is it so hard for me to look someone in the eye and tell them that I love them!?

I'm sure this is a common issue, but for me it's one that I didn't even know I had until recently. It's just been lurking on my shoulder, dropping little negative suggestions from time to time.

"Don't talk about your issues, you will look less in control."

"Don't tell people how much they mean to you, they'll just think you're a sap."

"Don't go for that opportunity, you'll just look stupid."

It seems that avoiding being vulnerable is all about appearances. And I thought I didn't care about what other people think. Huh.

It's not super obvious (at least to me), but vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's necessary in order for relationships to thrive and risks to be taken. Strength, then, isn't a measure of how "perfect" or "together" a person is, but how confident they are in risking their image or emotions for what they think is right or beneficial.

Now that I've realized these things, what do I do about it? I've found that eye contact is a huge part of emotional communication. I have a really hard time making eye contact with people, it makes me super uncomfortable. If I make eye contact with someone, it forces me to take what they are saying seriously (even if what they are saying is emotionally uncomfortable) but the real kicker is that it makes me take what I am saying seriously. I often forget that my friends and family want to hear what I have to say and that they will take me seriously as long as they know that I take myself seriously.

So, I guess it's all about respect. It's hard to look someone in the eye if you don't respect them or what they are saying. It's hard to look someone in the eye if you know you're bullshitting them. What I've got to realize is that people will respect me even if I let myself be vulnerable to them. That my vulnerability will not necessarily be judged as a weakness. And, who cares what anyone else thinks anyway?

Does anyone else struggle with opening up to people, even friends and family? What have you done to handle these insecurities?

life lessons: slowing down

I love all the little unexpected lessons in life. We go about our days, doing what we do, and then BAM! Lesson.



I had just started a new yoga class when a lesson hit me like whoa. This class was slower than I was used to, which was good because it gave me time to really feel what my body was doing and learn the poses more thoroughly (don't be fooled, though- I was definitely breaking a serious sweat.) About ten minutes before the end of the class we started cooling down, and the instructor told us to lie down and completely relax our muscles. And then...nothing. We just kept lying there. Doing nothing. Breathing. Probably no more than a minute into this disturbing repose, I started thinking.

It feels like we've been doing this for a really long time. How long are we going to lie here? Did she leave the room? What's going on?

After a while I finally was able to strong-arm myself into relaxation. After we all sat up and namaste'ed I looked at the clock. It had only been five minutes.

This made me wonder. Why is it so hard for me to just lie still for five minutes? What about my life is so urgent that I can't relax and release tension for a measly five minutes?

Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet recently expressed a similar sentiment when she wrote about the value of "unplugging" from social media. I feel that we as Americans have become so used to constant over-stimulation that we have difficulty slowing down and enjoying simple things. It's like food: if all you eat is chemically processed, MSG-laden "food products", then it is unlikely that you will be able to appreciate real, natural, healthy foods. Similarly, if all we experience is television, twitter, flashing lights, garbled noises, and instant gratification, how can we expect to recognize the small moments of natural awe?

So, for the past few weeks I have really concentrated on slowing down and experiencing my life instead of just trying to get through it. I have tried to actually enjoy moments of nothing instead of becoming bored and apathetic. I've been able to focus more on specific tasks, like reading and doing housework, and have been in a much more consistently positive mood (no more road rage! amazing!)

This has made a significant positive difference in my day-to-day happiness. It is a beautiful thing.

Sorry this post was so long, I've just wanted to get this off my chest. Being generally happy is still kind of a new thing for me, so I'm pretty much bursting at the seams with the novelty of it all. Has anyone else experienced this sort of realization? How do you slow down and enjoy the little moments in life?